I Don’t Know?!

I hate making decisions.  Quite literally, this is one of the few things in life that I actually have very strong feelings about.  I just don’t want to deal.  I like my bubble and am quite content, usually. (See that?  I can’t even commit to a sentence).  So when faced with any decision, even “what’s for dinner tonight?”, I get all angry and frustrated.  My husband can vouch. Poor guy. So knowing this, it’s something I’m “working on.”  (Love that phrase because it gives us the freedom to try…or not, right? Yeah.)

But I’m in the process of “bettering myself” and I really am TRYING to read one chapter from a personal development book every day.  And this is so not like me.  I’m that girl who would have said, “The Bible is enough.  Jesus is enough.  Bible study books are o.k., too, but not self-help.  Only Jesus can help.”  So, take this from a skeptic, if you will, but these books really do make a difference.  So, the main reason its changed my mind is that it gives me practical things to apply to my life.  Like, set your alarm clock 10 minutes early so you have time to wake up and be thankful.  The Bible does talk about a virtuous woman in Proverbs 30 rising while it’s still dark outside but I never thought, “Oh, set my alarm clock for just a few minutes earlier, and over time it will make a difference.”  I guess I need things in “my language.”

I digress.  So decisions, decisions.  They are just awful.  I am so afraid of making a bad decision.  What would happen?  I run every possible scenario in my head before making a decision and then I waver.  Is that really right?  I mean…you guys…I made my husband propose to me TWICE.  Yes.  I’m THAT bad at this.  Thankfully, God has all things in control.  So, I’m reading in my book this month and come to this chapter called “The Almighty Decision”  and I found my self saying out loud “Yes!”  or “Mmm-hmm” like people in church shout “preach!” in the middle of the sermon.  I was saying it so much I thought I would wake up my napping child.

Let’s break it down then: “So often, we pretend we’ve made a decision, when what we’ve really done is signed up to try until it gets too uncomfortable.” Like…THIS IS ME!  Is this you?  LOL.  Can we own that?  Yikes.  I need to own that.  I’ve come to the realization today that I have to close the doors on my decisions and stop giving myself that “out” that I always have up my sleeve.  The author says, “In order to do this [reach your goal] you need to have the audacity to be honest about what you really WANT to do, not what you SHOULD do, believe it’s available to you regardless of any evidence otherwise, and go for it.  To decide means literally to cut off.  No wonder so many people are totally freaked out by it.”  Cut off the other options.  They are not options.  They are not what you want.

And on top of that, we need to be tenacious in our choice.  Stick to that thing like super-glue!  Even in the face of failure.  Even if people think we are nuts.  Even if it gets expensive.  Even if we have to ask for a loan from someone who scares us to death.  Even if…whatever!  If you truly have made a decision, you have no other options.  Period.  So you must make it work.

I don’t know what type of decisions you are facing in your life or what goals you have you are working toward, but this just put things in a whole new perspective for me.  I have my goals set out in front of me, and I gave myself a “back-door” option for a while now.  But today, I’m closing my doors.  There is no backing out.  I know the things that I truly want and I’m going for them.  Are you?

Stellar Day Blog, Sarah Costa


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