I haven’t made it through a Mother’s Day service without crying in years. Even now that we’ve been blessed with our beautiful girl, my heart is still heavy every Mother’s Day. It just touches that tender part of my heart that bears the scar of loss and struggle. I hope this day never looses that heaviness for me. I don’t want to forget the many women who feel hurt, insignificant, or conflicted when it comes to Mother’s Day. For some this special day is marked by brunch, flowers, and hand-made cards. However, other women carry heavy burdens and broken hearts in regard to mothering. The truth is, Mother’s Day brings with it a wide array of experiences and emotions. It’s not all Hallmark has made it out to be. Real life is always messier than advertising.The following is an open letter that was read during service at our church several years ago. It touched my heart and I felt that it was a far more accurate picture of Mother’s Day. I love that the author leaves a space not just for every mama, but every woman. May you feel seen, important, and loved today. <3
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising – we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.
You can read the full post here.
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